What Makes You Gay

I still find people, especially heterosexual men, who don’t quite understand what being heteroflexible, bisexual and gay is. So I’m going to tell you.

If a heterosexual man sucks cock, that does not make him gay. If a heterosexual man gets pegged, that does not make him gay. If a heterosexual man has a threesome with a woman and another man, that does not make him gay.

So what makes a man gay? When a man is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to a man. The key word here is ‘attracted’. Attraction is desire. Gay men have sexual desires and romantic desires for men, and only men. So, the key factor for being gay is that a man is only attracted to men. If he still likes women (or another gender) too, at the very least, he is heteroflexible and most, bisexual.

A heteroflexible man is someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to men occasionally. But he is still attracted to women.

A bisexual man is someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to both men and women, but also all genders (trans, non-binary, etc). There are many other attractions, such as asexuality (a person who isn’t attracted to anyone) and pansexuality (a person who is attracted to a person regardless of gender). New attractions are being discovered all the time.

So, if you get fucked in the ass, it doesn’t mean you’re gay, and if you think a man is hot, it still  doesn’t mean you are gay. The best way to think about all this is to appreciate that human sexuality is a spectrum that changes over your lifetime.