I am both a Professional Dominatrix and a Lifestyle Domme. That means I have a ProDomme Business and I enjoy Femdom as a lifestyle. The two work together perfectly, however, many people do not understand the division between Professional and non-Professional.
Here is the lowdown so you can understand the difference between Pro and Lifestyle… and why it’s hard to get a Lifestyle Domme.
Professional Domme
For Professional Domination, I have a professional D/s relationship with clients. I provide an experienced-base service for a fee, called Tribute. Clients tell me what they want to experience, and I design a session that caters to their desires within my Femdom philosophy, style, talents and interests. We develop trust, respect and care, but we do not get personal. There are no expectations or commitments beyond the professional-client relationship and contact. No sexual intercourse. There is no difference in business relationship between a Dominatrix and a client than a psychologist and their patient. I choose clients based on their genuineness and legitimacy – I take on the clients I feel I match with.
Lifestyle Domme
For Lifestyle Domination, I have a personal relationship with submissives. My Domination and relationships focus on My wants and desires – I do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I develop an intimate and emotional connection with My subs. I have expectations of them, we commit to each other, and we include each other in our daily lives. I enjoy sex with My submissives, in all forms. There is no difference in personal relationship with a submissive than a booty call, FWB, a friend, a lover or a romantic partner – I develop feelings for My sub, affection and even love. I choose my submissives based on attraction and chemistry, and continue because of our connection and D/s relationship.
In action:
What this means in practice is that my business comes first. Professional Domination is business and operates exactly like any other. I am focused on offering a professional and valuable service for my clients. My selection process is general and broad for clients. Of course, when it’s business, I will always be attentive to clients, including potentials. I will get back to them in a timely manner and do what I can to answer their questions, resolve their problems, and service their needs because of the business-client relationship. I will respect requests such as no marks and no photos. However, unlike most Pros, I don’t role-play, and I focus on my wants and desires, to provide an authentic experience.
When a person contacts me for Lifestyle, wanting to be one of My personal submissives, they don’t understand that they are actually asking for a personal relationship with Me. They usually think that Lifestyle is just non-paid Pro, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Lifestyle is about getting very personal – we become a part of each other’s lives. My selection process is very specific for personal subs because of my strong level of commitment to them, especially emotionally, and because of my personal time and my heart being involved in our D/s relationship. I require chemistry and sexual attraction, which is not a focus for me with Pro. I want photos and I want to give marks, and I do not choose people who have these as a limit.
Men are forever trying to be one of my personal submissives than a client, but if they are not prepared for me to know everything about their lives, for me to require them whenever I want, for me to do things like make marks on them and stop them from having sex, me taking and using pictures of them, or being in public together, then they can’t handle being one of my personal submissives, and are better off being a client.
Personal relationships are important to me, and BDSM is a passion, but like any normal person, I prioritise my business over casual hookups and play dates with strangers.