The Difference Between a Pro-Domme and a Lifestyle Domme

Below are only basic descriptions of each category of Domme. It is important to remember, there is no one way to be a Domme. In fact, a lot of women practice Pro-Domme and Lifestyle Domme at the same time. However, there is a distinct division between male fantasy and real Femdom.

Professional Dommes

Pro-Domme is an umbrella term that describes the women who receive money from domination. They are technically in the role of Service Top, not Dominants. They provide a service-based experience tailored for their client. This is business; play-for-pay; money is the driver; and customer satisfaction is essential for repeat business. Technically, Pro-Dommes are not practicing real Femdom, as they are being subject to their client and their money – Pro-Domme is based on male desire. (Femdom is the complete opposite – Femdom is based on female desire). In fact, it is male desire that has largely influenced and created what a Pro-Domme is today.

Traditional Dominatrices

It is rare to be one of these in this day and age, but they were secretly popular in the last two centuries in Europe. These Dominant Women were very similar to courtesans or mistresses where they had a benefactor to provide for them in exchange for their ‘companionship’, and they became an (underworld) socialite and Mistress. Nowadays, this usually happens when a Pro-Domme retires from the commercial scene, and a few of her close and trusted clients become her personal submissives and benefactors. But it’s rare.


Pro-Dominatrices are women who give a service to clients. It is a financial agreement. As such, they do not have oral sex or intercourse with their clients, and some may not offer any penetration of the sub (oral and anal sex), as not to be classified an escort by law. The client pays for an experience, the Dominatrix performs the tasks required. The game is that the Dominatrix is ‘in control’, (of course, they might be within a scene or session, but overall they are not technically in control when they provide a service to clients). However, because of the nature of BDSM being taboo, a Pro-client relationship can go into murky waters, and a client can become like a personal submissive for the Dominatrix (such as Traditional Dominatrices). 50% Service – 50% Femdom.


Women who are auditioned by men, produced by men, managed by men, scripted by men, directed by men, filmed by men, edited by men, marketed by men, for a male audience… Porn-Domme never was Femdom. 100% Content Creation.

House/Dungeon Dommes

Women hired by BDSM Houses or Dungeons to service clients. Usually based on a commission pay scale. They do what the client is paying for. 100% Service, Femdom simulation.


Women who are escorts playing the role of Domme. Her clients are paying for sex with her. It is often fetish orientated, such as sex with a pre-op transwoman. 100% Escort Service.

Content Creator “Dommes”

Women who produce Femdom fantasy content and porn. They may or may not be actual Dommes. They might not have had any real-life experience with Domination. Often content creation is a side hussle for Pros and to advertise for real clients. 80% content creation – 20% service (as they will create content for clients).

Online Pro-Dommes

Women who give an online service to clients. It is largely content creation and non-physical Service Topping. They are subject to their client’s wishes and wallet as much as in-person Pro-Dommes. 50% Content Creation – 50% Service.

**Most often, women are a combination of several types of Professional Dommes.


Lifestyle Dommes

BDSM and Domination is a part of life for Lifestyle Dommes; play-for-fun, pleasure is their driver; the Domme’s satisfaction is essential. She practices Her domination the way she wants – philosophy, methods, technique, play, clothes, people, dynamics.

I see Lifestyle Dommes in two categories:
• Relative Dommes – they negotiate and collaborate with their submissive, accommodating or compromising their desires to include ‘his’ desires in their Femdom. Most Dommes take this approach, and those who do tend to be in romantic/partner relationships with their subs.
• Absolute Dommes – they don’t negotiate or collaborate with their submissive – it’s Her way or the highway – to create a ‘pure’ Femdom. Few Dommes take this approach, and those who do tend to have purely D/s relationships with their subs.

Bedroom Domme

Women who play the role of Domme during sexual encounters. This is usually to service a romantic relationship and the whims of their partner. Technically, they are only Tops, not real Femdoms, and their partners dominate them from the bottom. (Often this is their first introduction to Femdom.)

Social Media/Profile Dommes

Women who present or play the role of Domme online (or even at clubs) for attention, but aren’t necessarily a Domme or a Dominant Woman. They could just be swingers, kinksters, or even submissives mis-roled or in disguise. Unfortunately, quiet often many of these women are looking for husbands for vanilla relationships, and will do a switcheroo when they can’t sustain the guise anymore. They are using kink and BDSM social media and websites like ‘dating’ apps.

Sessional/Play Dommes

Women who dominate during a set timeframe – a session. The D/s dynamic is only active during the session. They usually have part-time, occasional submissives or play partners.

Online Dommes

Women who dominate online. Their domination is naturally limited – as opposed to in-person domination – and task-based, relying more on the onus of the sub. As such, their control is never as stable or definite, and their domination is restricted. They don’t have physical power and can only control via commands and persuasion.

Casual Lifestyle Dommes

Women who actively dominate and have personal dynamics, but only casually when time and opportunity exist. Femdom is more a hobby for them than an actual bona fide lifestyle.

24/7 Lifestyle Dommes

Women who actively dominate and have personal dynamics as a lifestyle. Femdom is nearly a part of everything they do – going to the gym, going shopping, going clubbing, seeing friends, etc. Most have a romantic/partner as a sub, however, some Dommes have D/s only dynamics and relationships.

Female Lead Relationship (FLR)

Women who lead in daily life. They aren’t necessarily a Domme (into D/s and BDSM), but they are a Dominant Woman. They usually have a romantic or life partner who follows her lead.

**Like with Pro-Dommes, most often, women are a combination of several types of Lifestyle Dommes.

**And, most often, women are a combination of Lifestyle Domme and Pro-Domme types. Why? Because Femdom is about a woman doing whatever she wants. So yes, that means a woman can be a Pro-Domme who services as a Top and a 24/7 Lifestyle Domme who is Femdom as a lifestyle, just like Me.


A lot of men I come across expect me to be the typical Dominatrix. They have a preconceived idea in their head of the way I should act, the way I should talk, the way I should look… they expect me to be their idea of Femdom. But that is the exact opposite of what Femdom is.

As a hybrid of both Lifestyle Domme and Pro, I am who I am, I am who I want to be. I dominate who I want, how I want, when I want. This is true Femdom. It is highly desired by those who want to experience true submission.

If you are after a certain type of Femdom that matches your ideas, go to a Pro-Domme and pay for it. You’ll get exactly what you want, (minus the real Femdom). If you want to experience real and organic Female Domination, give up all your ideas and expectations, and find a Dominant Woman who inspires you to be submissive.