Many professional Dominatrices use the title Mistress, making it easy to assume that Mistress simply means a Dominatrix. Historically, however, that is only a small part of the story. The title existed centuries before the modern Dominatrix and carries a rich history that extends far beyond BDSM.
If you’ve spent any time exploring Femdom, BDSM, or Dominant Women online, you’ve almost certainly encountered the title Mistress. It remains one of the most recognised names used by Female Dominants today, yet very few people stop to think where the title actually came from. Ironically, Mistress is considerably older than the Dominatrix.
Long before the word Dominatrix entered the English language as an erotic term, Dominant Women throughout England were already being addressed as Mistress. The title existed for centuries before BDSM adopted it, and originally had nothing to do with leather, fetish, or professional domination. Understanding this history completely changes how we think about the word today.
What does Mistress mean?
Historically, Mistress developed from the Old French maistresse, itself derived from the Latin magistra, meaning a female teacher, female master, or woman with responsibility and authority. Originally, a Mistress was simply a woman entrusted with responsibility. She may have managed a household. She may have educated children. She may have supervised servants. She may have governed an estate or ran a school. The title described competence, responsibility, and authority before it ever became associated with sexuality and eroticism.
Why did Dominant Women become known as Mistresses?
Many of these women occupied unusually intimate positions within society. They were a governess who disciplined boys. A schoolmistress who exercised authority. A housekeeper who managed servants. An abbess governed a convent. Outside their own families, these were among the few respectable women who exercised authority over men and boys. Over time, literature increasingly eroticised these relationships:
The strict governess.
The stern schoolmistress.
The commanding housekeeper.
Such became recurring figures throughout nineteenth-century erotic fiction. By the time Victorian prostitutes began offering flagellation and disciplinary services during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, the title Mistress already carried powerful erotic associations.
Mistress existed before Dominatrix
One misconception repeated throughout BDSM is that Mistress and Dominatrix developed together. They didn’t. The modern erotic use of Dominatrix is surprisingly recent.
Although the Latin word existed in antiquity simply meaning “female ruler,” it disappeared from English for centuries before being revived during the twentieth century by publishers, fetish magazines, pulp fiction, and later pornography to describe professional women providing domination as a commercial service. In contrast, the title Mistress had already existed in English for hundreds of years. In many respects, the BDSM community inherited Mistress first and Dominatrix second.
Is Mistress still the correct title today?
Today, there is no universally correct title. Many women identify as Mistress. Others prefer Lady. Some enjoy Queen or Goddess. Others use Madam. Every title communicates something slightly different about the style of authority a Dominant Woman wishes to project. For many, these titles are simply aesthetic choices. For others, history still matters.
What about Domina?
Unlike Mistress, which developed through English and French occupational traditions, Domina comes directly from Latin and originally described the female ruler of a household or estate (and the heart of her husband, when you look at Roman poetry). It is not a modern BDSM invention but an ancient description of female sovereignty. Throughout Europe, descendants of Domina survived in words such as Dame, Doña, Donna, and Ama, preserving ideas of dignity, household authority, and female governance after the Roman Empire disappeared. Today, some lifestyle Dominant Women choose Domina as a title because they feel it better reflects Female-centred authority than the occupational associations carried by Mistress.
What about Domme?
Domme is something else again. Unlike Mistress or Domina, it is not a historical title. It emerged as a modern shorthand derived from Dom, itself an abbreviation of Dominant that became popular through the leather community before the internet encouraged gender-specific spellings. Today, Domme functions as a convenient contemporary label, but it does not carry the same historical lineage as Mistress or Domina.
Why I don’t call Myself Mistress
Although I respect the history of the title, I don’t personally use Mistress. This is not because there is anything wrong with it, but because the word now carries several overlapping meanings. Historically, it refers to a working woman exercising authority through education, domestic management, or service. It also became associated with the continental slave trade as the feminine equivalent of Master. Later, it became associated with the professional fetish Dominatrix. And, of course, outside BDSM, it also came to mean a married man’s lover. None of these accurately describe the way I practise Femdom.
My dynamics are neither dungeon-based, fetish-based, nor performance-oriented. They do not centre male fantasy, but authentic female desire. They are long-term, relational, and driven by genuine Female Authority. For this reason, I have begun describing My practice as Professional Femdom, rather than ProDomme. This is not because I just wanted another title to be “original”, but because I couldn’t find an existing one that accurately described what I actually do.